Noble speech

To heal emotional confusion it is essential to speak your truth. You need to communicate clearly what is important to you in your relationship so that your partner knows what your fundamental agenda is. For instance, if there are commitment problems in your relationship, you both need to be honest about your attitudes toward commitment.

While it is essential to hold onto your inner truth, Buddhists believe that it is important to consider the context of your speech before you speak. It is not okay to say what you want to say, regardless of the feelings of the listener or the consequences of your words. Buddhist precepts are fundamental to courteous, harmonious interaction.

Your words should be gentle and courteous, and go straight to the heart.

Your speech should be aimed at spreading harmony, uniting what is divided.

What you say should be said in the right context and at an appropriate moment.

Unless you can contribute something constructive, maintain a noble silence.

Don’t repeat in one place what you have heard in another; avoid gossip, slander and harsh language.

Communicate your kind intentions rather than anger.

Avoid putting others down; remind yourself of your limitations before rushing to criticize another.

Don’t try to impose your will on others. Do not hurt them intentionally, or dishonour them.

Speak about what you know, and admit it if you don’t know. Speak in accordance with facts, rather than your beliefs.

Be honest about any mistakes that you have made.

You need to remain open and loving with others rather than relate solely according to your own ego-centred needs. The Buddhist moral code is steeped in morality because of their belief in karma. Karma focuses on the relation of cause and effect – meaning that everything you do has a ripple effect on those around you. When you become aware of the serious effects of your smallest actions, you can then take responsibility for the consequences of all your actions. Whatever it is you are doing, make sure that you do no harm to other living beings.